Labor Day Breaking News Alert: Curious Happenings in Pants Nationwide

Labor Day Breaking News Alert: Curious Happenings in Pants Nationwide

Hot Pants Monday

Do you feel that thickness inside-your-pants right now?  That which turns self-control into silly putty?

Check the area. I got one-hundred milliseconds.  And…the reason why your pants are bulging is because it’s Labor Day!

A fine holiday to quell the urge of jerking the wheel into oncoming traffic on the morning commute. A day to forget everything!  Even managers (evil stepparents) can loosen up their pants, go online, chug a whiskey flask while swiveling their heads like they got out of beds made of down Goose feathers.

You know how these managers operate.  They get some “reading” done in their office around 3 p.m. or need to take a “call.”  Doors locked every time, minor shuffling, with an incomprehensible, but clearly audible guttural noise followed by a long sigh.  What are they doing in there I wonder?

Maybe our managers will take a one-way-trip to the Pacific Ocean this Labor Day and become fish bait because they’ve had enough of life. Let’s hope not.

What TF is Labor Day?  

Labor Day is a sorely needed day off to relax, do absolutely nothing, and mob the food, retail, and hospitality industry who busts their fannies feeding an entire civilization with the necessary lifeblood to continue their mindless babbling on on digital devices oblivious to their own realities.

Labor Day is about remembering what it’s like to be ten again, freely removing your clothes, walking outside, and screaming “aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”.

Labor Day Wasn’t Always this way. 

I don’t expect you to know (or care) about the history of Labor Day. You see, most people aren’t very “edu-ma-cated” these days. You know the type of people; take those who think that eating horse-poop will make them better lovers in bed.

They think that Labor Day came about when Peter Pan kidnapped a girl and her brothers and took them to Neverland.  Not Michael Jackson’s amusement park. But you know these types. Kind a guy that walks into a bar, takes a bite of your burger, sips your shake, steals your girl, and puts her on the back of his motorcycle, flipping a cigarette at you while saying, “adios beech,” in a gravely voice, zipping out zero to sixty in four seconds flat.

Forgive me if this isn’t a collective experience.  I’m from Peru if you don’t remember.

In Case Your Curious

If you’re interested in how Labor Unions and other workers spoke up for their better interests, rights, and how they said, “no way Jose,” and changed 12 to 15 hour work days to 8, amid protests and bloodshed, then check out what I wrote last year about it.

What to Do on Labor Day

Need something to do? Count the blades of grass in your lawn, learn how to do a card trick, and be thankful you don’t have to squeeze into pants tighter than sausage casings for a few bucks over minimum wage, staring at the clock, wondering why each minute feels like a rerun of the last.

Labor Day is a time to look out your window and see no difference between an around-the-clock work-rat and an unemployed bum in their Sunday’s best on Monday.

Let’s take a moment to smile.  Labor Day is about you, your loved ones, and taking a moment to reflect on what you may be missing in your life (besides that left sock that never came back to your drawer).

Missing Out on Learning a Not-So-Foreign Language?

You see, I teach Spanish, and I think it’s muy importante that you know that I, Kasa De Franko, am the owner and instructor at KDF Spanish School (online and in-person). This holiday, consider that learning Spanish at Kasa De Franko (in the Bay Area and worldwide) is the very best when it comes to training you how to listen, think, and speak in Spanish with flavor, accuracy, and freedom.

The ship is ready to sail! Ready to have fun learning Spanish again or for the first time?  Want to join in on the conversation, laughter and exploration of a living language spoken by over 500 million people worldwide?

Strike while the iron’s hot! This not-so-foreign language is available for whatever you desire.

Imagine sharing a romance language with the world; from the tongue in your mouth.  You may find a beachside spot someday, keeping that language you learned in your heart and a significantly lower cost of living alongside it.

Consider taking a class with KDF and check out are available classes here.

Feel good, okay? It’s Labor Day. Hopefully you get paid AND have a moment to chill. Your pants should be bulging as fat as a king-size stack of cash in your pocket, working overtime on that Netflix hustle. You’ve made in the shade Jade.  Hooray!

And if you have to work on Monday, please clear your cookies, cache, and close this browser immediately. Wash your hands thoroughly before returning to work. I’ll see you on again on tight-pants Tuesday.


Don’t just speak Spanish! Think in Spanish!

Don’t just learn Spanish! Embrace the Spanish Culture!

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