101 Ways to Make a Killing (Without Going to Jail)

Paco Judo had been in the U.S. for 48 hours when he saw it: a giant bookstore banner screaming

MAKE A KILLING! MAKE A KILLING! EVERYWHERE

Not a small sign. No. A huge banner in red letters that, in his mind, looked like they were written in blood.

He looked around. There was another one at the entrance. Another by the cashier. Another hanging from the ceiling.

“These gringos are recontra locos,” he muttered in Spanish — meaning super crazy, the kind of crazy that doesn’t just watch the chaos, but brings snacks for it.

Looking at el mataburros (diccionario)

Just to be sure, Paco pulled out his tiny green pocket dictionary — the one with a photo of the Eiffel Tower on the cover (he still didn’t understand why a dictionary for English learners had a French monument on it).

He flipped to the M section:
kill (verb) — to take the life of someone.
matar = to take someone’s life.

“¡Mierda! Matan con la M de mierda. Aha! Confirmed,” Paco whispered. “They’re advertising crimes right in front of everyone, and nobody cares.”

What Should I Do? Paco Said!

He wasn’t sure what to do. What’s the right move in these situations? Should he go straight to the police… or go inside and investigate for himself?

The truth was, Paco had always been the Ña Catita of his neighborhood — the kind of nosy person who doesn’t just want to know everything, but wants to know it first, so he can tell it to everyone else with extra drama.

Back in his town, he could turn “your neighbor bought a new chair” into “your neighbor is starting an underground furniture business.”

If there was gossip, Paco didn’t just hear it — he stretched it, dressed it in a new outfit, and sent it to walk around the plaza.

So really, the idea of a bookstore openly offering murder manuals was too good to pass up. Even if it was dangerous… it would make one hell of a story for the barrio.

Like a Scene from The Shining

Paco felt like he was stepping straight into a scene from The Shining. At any moment, he half-expected Jack Nicholson himself to appear from behind a shelf — not with an axe this time, but maybe performing a murder as part of some live bookstore event.

The thought terrified him… but also lit up his curiosity. Why did Americans like to talk so openly — and cheerfully — about their love for killing people?

He stepped inside carefully. The door gave a cheerful cling-cling, like he was entering a cozy coffee shop. But in Paco’s mind, that was no friendly welcome — it was the signal to alert the killers that a new victim had arrived.

That Twisted Smile of Hers

The woman at the register smiled — but to Paco, it wasn’t a friendly smile. It was the kind of smile a movie villain gives right before explaining their evil plan.

—“Hello! Are you here to make a killing?”

Paco swallowed hard.
—“Eh… not yet… maybe later?”

She slid a flyer across the counter.
—“We’ve got a whole section on making a killing. Aisle five.”

Paco walked to aisle five like a detective entering a crime scene — cautious, scanning every corner for clues. But instead of bodies, he found books:

• Make a Killing in Real Estate
• Make a Killing in the Stock Market
• Make a Killing Selling on eBay

“Oh my God,” he thought. “They teach you to kill… in the market, on the internet, and even in the stock exchange.”

Paco Goes Full Detective

He approached a man in a baseball cap.
—“Señor… do you kill people here?”

The man laughed.
—“Well, I try. Last week I made a killing on Bitcoin.”

Paco blinked.
—“And in which prison is this… Bitcoin?”

Things got worse when a woman said she’d made a killing selling hot dogs and an old man claimed he’d been “making killings” for forty years and had retired from it.

OMG: More Killings in the Mall?

Paco left the bookstore clutching the flyer like it was Exhibit A in a murder trial.
The sign outside still glared at him: MAKE A KILLING.

He stepped into the mall’s wide hallway… and froze again.
There it was, on another store. And another. And another.

In big, bold letters: MAKE A KILLING THIS WEEKEND!
And in smaller print: Sale ends Sunday.

“Oh Dios… they’ve scheduled the killing,” Paco thought. “Sunday is the deadline… like an execution date.”

Now It Wasn’t Just Books

There were clothing stores, electronics shops, even a perfume kiosk proudly announcing their killing. He imagined assassins in high heels, murderers in cologne.

A young salesman in a suit approached him.
—“Good afternoon, sir! Looking to make a killing today?”

Paco’s eyes widened.
—“How much… for just one?”
—“…One what?”
—“One killing. Small. Maybe with a discount?”

The salesman’s smile stiffened.
—“Uh… sir, are you asking about the promotion?”
—“Promotion? You pay me to kill? Or I pay you?”

Wait … What?

The salesman’s eyes darted to security. Paco walked away before they could handcuff him to a discount rack.

He saw a mother with her child.
—“Señora, you also make killings here?”
She gasped and pulled her child closer.
—“What?”
—“In the bookstore they teach you how… I think maybe it’s like… community activity?”

She ran off without answering.

Then Paco spotted a group of teenagers in front of a sneaker store. The sign above them read:

MAKE A KILLING ON NEW ARRIVALS

—“Chicos… is it harder to kill in sneakers or in boots?”
They laughed. One said, “Dude, are you filming a prank video?”
Paco shook his head. “No, I’m just… learning how you Americans do… this.”

Finally, he sat on a bench, exhausted from the detective work. He looked up and saw one last sign from the food court:

MAKE A KILLING ON CHICKEN WINGS.

“Pollo también…” he whispered. “These people… they kill everything.”

By now Paco was convinced this was either a nationwide crime ring disguised as shopping… or the Americans had developed a very organized, very polite way of advertising murder.

This is Too Much, He Thought! 

Paco decided to start gathering proof.
If he was going to warn anyone — the police, Interpol, maybe the Pope — he’d need solid evidence.

He took out his little flip phone and started photographing every MAKE A KILLING sign he could find. The bookstore. The shoe shop. The jewelry counter. The chicken wing stand.

He even zoomed in on one banner and whispered:
—“This will be Exhibit B.”

A security guard noticed him.
—“Sir, is there a problem?”
Paco stood up straight.
—“Yes. Many killings are happening here.”
—“…Killings?”
—“Yes. Everywhere. You need to stop it.”

The guard squinted.
—“Sir… are you okay?”
—“No. I am in danger. You are in danger. Everyone here is in danger.”

The guard gave him the kind of smile people reserve for confused tourists and slowly backed away.

Do They Kill Families Too?

Unshaken, Paco headed toward the food court. The killing signs were everywhere. MAKE A KILLING ON BURRITOS. MAKE A KILLING ON FUNERAL PACKAGES. MAKE A KILLING ON FAMILY MEALS.

—“¡Dios mio! They kill families too…” he whispered, horrified.

He sat at a table and pulled out a napkin to make a crime map.

• Bookstore: training manuals.
• Clothing store: murder uniforms.
• Chicken wings: protein source.
• Perfume shop: cover the smell of blood.

It was all coming together.

Calling the Peruvian Embassy!

In desperation, Paco dialed the Peruvian embassy.
—“Hello? Yes, this is Paco Judo, tourist. I am in a mall in California. There are killings everywhere.”
The embassy staffer paused.
—“Killings?”
—“Yes, but… organized. Very organized. And with discounts.”

The staffer sighed.
—“Señor… are you sure?”
—“Yes, I have photos. Many photos. Some even with chicken.”

Paco hung up when a group of shoppers walked by wearing T-shirts that said I MADE A KILLING in bold letters.

He stared at them, his eyes wide.
—“They even give you a T-shirt after…”

By now Paco was convinced he had uncovered the largest and most cheerful assassination network in the world — and it was operating inside the mall food court. He bit into his chicken wing slowly… just in case it was poisoned.

Then, He Heard a Voice..

Paco was still at the food court, guarding his pile of “evidence” — flyers, receipts, and shaky photos of every MAKE A KILLING sign in the mall — when he heard a voice.

—“¡Tio Paco! There you are. I’ve been looking all over.”
It was María PataFría, her sunglasses perched on her head, holding two shopping bags.

Paco jumped to his feet.
—“María, we have to run to the police right now. This mall… is a murder headquarters. Look!”He spread out his photos like crime scene evidence.
—“They train them in the bookstore. They feed them chicken wings. They even give them uniforms in the clothing store.”

She Looked at Him!

María stared for a long second… then burst out laughing.
—“Ay, Paco… ‘Make a killing’ means to make a lot of money. It’s an expression. Nobody is killing anyone.” She explained in Spanish. 

Paco froze.
—“What?”

—“Yes. It’s just business talk. Like… ‘strike it rich.’”

He squinted at her.
—“So… you’re saying they make money… not… bodies?”

—“Exactly.”

Paco sighed in relief… then frowned again while his eyes narrowed.
—“Hmm. That’s exactly what a professional killer with a flawless cover story would say to keep the plan secret.”María stared at him for a moment, then rolled her eyes and dragged him toward the exit.
—“Come on, detective. I’ll buy you an ice cream before you accuse the food court of international crimes.”

Meet Don Paco Judo

Paco Judo is not a martial artist.
In fact, the only fight he’s ever been in was with a stubborn goat back in his hometown of Chepén, Peru — and the goat won on points. (It was a 12-round match, sanctioned by no one, but the whole barrio came to watch.)

At 62, Paco finally fulfilled his dream: visiting the United States. His niece, María Patafría (from Get Your Hand-Off My Poossie), in New Jersey promised him:
“Uncle, you’ll love it here — everything’s bigger, cheaper, and in English!”

That last part — the English — was the problem. Paco’s been “learning” for years… mostly from telenovelas, a dusty VHS of Home Alone 2, and one overly-enthusiastic YouTube cowboy who greets every video with “Yeehaw, partner!” Paco now thinks “yeehaw” is the official American “hello,” which is why TSA security already flagged him as “possibly unstable.”

Finally, Paco understood. He blinked, processing the truth. “Ah… they don’t kill anyone… it’s about making money?”

María laughed. “Exactly. And speaking of making a killing, let me show you how they say it in Spanish

What’s Making A Killing in Spanish?

Imagine yourself now in a buzzing street market in Madrid. The air smells like sizzling chorizo, someone’s arguing over the price of olives, and a vendor just winked at you because you nailed the slang he thought only locals knew. That’s when it hits you — you’re not just learning Spanish, you’re making a killing with it.

No, not the mafia kind — the kind where you score extra tapas, better deals, and more friends than you can keep track of.

The Original “Making a Killing”

In Spain, hacer tu agosto — literally make your August — was once more than a figure of speech. Back in the days before supermarkets and year-round imports, August was peak harvest season. Farmers, merchants, and tavern owners worked under the blazing sun, hauling in grapes, grains, and anything else the land would give them. It was hot, dusty, and smelled like a mix of sweat, crushed fruit, and roasting meat.

But it was also payday. In just a few weeks, they could earn enough to keep their families fed and their cellars stocked for the year. That short, intense burst of work was their jackpot, their big win — their killing.

These days, you don’t need a wine press, a cart full of melons, or a sunburn to make your August—or to make a killing. All you need is the right opportunity… and we just happen to have one.

Dive Into Spanish Lessons, Make a Killing

When you dive into Spanish lessons, you don’t just learn “hola” and “gracias.” You start collecting slang and expressions like secret weapons — the kind that make you sound dangerously fluent.

And speaking of making a killing… we’re staging our own little heist. Our Spanish school is slicing prices on all private and group adult lessons. Think of it as your personal jackpot — minus the shady casino, plus the guarantee you’ll walk out smarter.

Make Your Move

Fast-forward a few months: you’re in a sunlit café in Seville, chatting with locals, slipping in a joke in perfect Spanish. The waiter just grins and hands you the “local price.” You’re not translating in your head anymore — you’re living it.

That’s the real killing — and it keeps paying you back every time you open your mouth. August might only come once a year, but this offer won’t last anywhere near that long. Snag your spot now, stack those secret phrases, and make your August — no sweat, no sunburn, just results.

Don´t Kill Anyone!

In other words, we’re making a killing. Not the messy, blood-on-the-floor kind—unless you count wiping your forehead after hauling a stack of Spanish flashcards. Honestly, we’re more in the “getting by, but could use a little extra” league. But that’s a different story… for now, let’s focus on your jackpot.

Here’s the deal: you’ll be stacking phrases like a pro, collecting slang like secret weapons, and charming locals without even trying. You might not become a hitman, but you will hit it big in Spanish—ordering tapas without butchering the menu, telling jokes locals actually get, and maybe even impressing that barista who’s secretly judging your pronunciation.

So remember, this is strictly metaphorical. No guns, no chicken wings soaked in mystery sauce, no clandestine missions—just words, charm, and a few laughs along the way. You’re making a killing, one phrase at a time. And that’s exactly the kind of “dangerous” we’re encouraging.

Idioms Reflect Culture!

The essence of this lesson is to convey to you, through our simple Spanish class, that idioms are deeply embedded in the tapestry of Spanish culture..

You know, sort of the way slang has become a solid form of communication in the English language.

And that’s the thing about idioms — they’re not just fun expressions; they often have fascinating backstories that reveal how people lived, worked, and played. Speaking of which, let’s take a closer look at one of my favorites: hacer su agosto.

La historia de agosto

To truly understand exactly how we’re “making a killing” (remember, wink, wink — no one’s dying), we need to dig into the origin of the phrase.

Haga su agosto literally means “make your August,” and it goes back centuries. Imagine Spain before supermarkets, before imports, before AC. August is blazing hot, sweat-staining your shirt as you haul baskets of grapes, melons, and whatever else the earth grudgingly gives you. Farmers and merchants are racing the sun and the market, hoping to sell enough to feed their families, repair their carts, and maybe sneak in a drink at the tavern before sundown.

In a few frantic weeks, you either strike it rich or get sunburned, dehydrated, and thoroughly humiliated. That short, intense burst of work was their jackpot, their big win — their literal “making a killing.” Every idiom like this is a window into history: it’s about work, reward, and sometimes survival, all wrapped into a phrase you can toss into conversation and sound like a local genius.

Easy money

Back in those sun-baked fields, if you hustled hard, you could score what locals called “easy money” — which basically meant quick cash for a few weeks of sweat, sunburn, and possibly minor melons-to-the-face incidents. Think of it as the original Spanish summer hustle: intense, exhausting, and rewarding all at once.

Of course, “easy money” sometimes came with a side of sketchiness — shady deals, questionable buyers, or that one cousin who always “helped out” and then vanished with half your earnings. But that’s a story for another time… maybe a dark telenovela episode.

More food, more money

The better the harvest, the fuller the tables and purses. A well-tended field meant more fruit, more grains, and more coins jingling in your pocket. Temporary farmworkers could turn a few weeks of back-breaking work into enough money to get through the rest of the year — or at least enough to buy a bottle of vino and brag about it to your friends.

In other words, summer was the season to “make a killing” — literally a big win — and the concept stuck in Spanish culture, long after the grape-stained shirts and sunburned arms were gone.

What have we learned? 

Stack Your Spanish Like Cash

By now, you’ve seen how idioms like hacer su agosto aren’t just quirky phrases — they’re secret treasures of Spanish, full of history, sweat, and maybe a sunburn or two. Just like farmers and merchants racing the blazing August sun, you can get ahead quickly if you know the right moves.

That’s where we come in. At Kasa de Franko, we don’t just hand you “tacos por favor” and “quiero una cerveza” — we give you the slang, expressions, and cultural tricks that make you sound like a local genius instead of a confused tourist. Think of it as stacking your Spanish like cash: the more you collect, the richer your conversations become.

Learn Smart, Avoid Mistakes

With our private and group lessons, you get guidance that avoids the usual pitfalls — no mispronunciations that make locals blink, no idioms in the wrong context, no accidental “I made a killing” panic at a bookstore. Just clear, fun, practical Spanish that actually works in real life.

Whether you’re ordering tapas in Seville, charming a barista in Madrid, or just trying to impress your Spanish-speaking friends, our courses make sure you’re prepared, confident, and yes — making your own metaphorical killing.

Your Jackpot: Spanish Classes on Sale

Alright, detective, after all this talk about “making a killing,” it’s time to show you the real loot — our Spanish courses and the discounts that make your wallet cheer louder than a Sevillian festival. No sunburn required, just pick your class and start stacking those phrases like gold coins.

Think of it as your personal treasure map: each class is a chest filled with words, phrases, and secret idioms. Open it, and voilà — you’re not just learning Spanish, you’re making your August… metaphorically speaking, of course.

So what are you waiting for? Pick your course, claim your loot, and let’s start making a killing — the friendly, brainy, tapas-and-churros kind.

Claim Your Treasure

— Start Your Spanish Adventure. Don’t just read about “making a killing” — actually do it. Sign up today for any of our Early Bird Spanish classes and grab up to 35% off.

And here’s the kicker: stick with us, and at the end of your first course, you’ll get the chance to claim a free lesson. Yep, a full-on, no-strings-attached session to practice your Spanish, impress your friends, and confidently drop that legendary phrase:

“Haga su Agosto.”

Imagine the looks on their faces when you casually explain how you turned a few weeks of Spanish into a winning strategy. That’s your jackpot — no sunburn, no melons-to-the-face, just pure, profitable fluency.

Sign up now and start stacking those secret phrases like a true linguistic treasure hunter.

Learn More Idioms

If you want to learn more idiomatic expressions, cultural facts, and myths in Spanish culture, be sure to explore articles on Kasa de Franko’s Blog.“

You can learn about different idiomatic expressions, sayings, and proverbs like this: ¨A mal tiempo, buena cara.¨ (When the going gets tough, the tough get going).

If interested in learning about myths and strange creatures, you can check our articles on ¨The Sexy Chupacabras¨ and ¨La Llorona¨.

Speak Sexy Spanish

If interested in learning sexy phrases in Spanish, don’t miss out on our series called ¨Things Spanish People Say in the Bedroom¨:

• Spanish is Sexy,

• Dancing with Words,

• Unleashing the Spanish Passion.

These captivating reads will take your understanding of sensual Spanish vocabulary to the next level.

Funny Embarrassing Situations

At Kasa de Franko, we believe that potentially embarrassing situations can arise at any moment during your language-learning process

That´s why we invite you to learn about some of these funny Spanish language mishaps: ¨Me gusta la chucha de tu madre.¨

However, as bad as they may look, we strongly believe language bloopers are necessary during our Spanish learning journey. You are ready to take lessons with us, but you are….

Short on funds?

Don’t worry! Would you prefer to try it for free? No problem! It´s your lucky day. Kasa de Franko´s got you covered and is offering you’ll free lessons throughout August. That’s why (por eso), haga su agosto.

Spanish Free Lesson

If you enjoyed reading this article, we’ve got another incentive for you to delve into learning Spanish and become enamored with it.

Learn Spanish for free and start enjoying the natural sexiness of a romance language: Spanish!

Free Means No Fee

Embrace the language’s opulence by securing your cost-free Spanish lesson and engaging with fellow speakers of the language of love: Spanish.

Claim a complimentary session at Kasa de Franko and conquer those everyday expressions. To redeem your free lesson, use this phrase with us: ¨Haga su agosto¨.

Tap on the Crimson Button

Click on the red button below: And let’s kick off this celebration!

And as you embark on this voyage of language acquisition, bear in mind that Spanish stretches far beyond idiomatic expressions, sexy phrases, and myths.

Language is culture: Spanish is culture!

Prepare to immerse yourself in the Spanish culture like never before! And always remember…