April 23, 2025 — In an executive order that linguists are calling “a prank gone rogue,” President Trump has officially declared that English is no longer the official language of the United States. It’s now “American” — simplified, glorified, and aggressively monolingual. As political theater replaces linguistic reality, one thing becomes clear: You must learn Spanish in the “Make American Language Official” Era (MALO) — before it gets banned.

After all, in the words of the new language czar himself:
“No more horrible languages.”

English? Out. Spanish? Adiós

From this day forward, it’s all about American. The announcement came just weeks after a fiery speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) outside Washington, D.C., where Trump set the stage for his linguistic crusade:

“We have languages coming into our country. We don’t have one instructor in our entire nation that can speak that language,” he warned. “These are languages — it’s the craziest thing — they have languages that nobody in this country has ever heard of. It’s a very horrible thing.”

Critics say this latest move solidifies what many feared: a campaign against not just immigration, but against linguistic diversity itself, making it even more important to learn Spanish in the “Make American Language Official” Era.

The Liberation of the American Language!

“It’s now time for the Liberation of ‘Merican Language, following the Liberation Day of ‘Merica,” Trump declared, signing the executive order in front of a cheering crowd waving oversized American flags and chanting “U-S-A!” with an oddly synchronized Southern twang.

At the heart of the decree is a rebranding effort so audacious it borders on performance art. Trump’s critics argue that the moment is so surreal that it dissolves the line between satire and reality. Supporters, meanwhile, are hailing it as the dawn of “language unity.” Whatever that means!

What Even Is American?

According to the official White House FAQ (posted exclusively on Truth Social and printed on red trucker hats), “American” is described as a “cleaned-up, simplified, patriotized version of English — with all foreign influences removed.” Words like taco, croissant, and ballet are reportedly being rebranded as ….

• Taco = Freedom Wrap
• Croissant = Victory Bread
• Ballet = Power Twirls

🎓 From the American Linguistics Association

“We’ve officially entered the linguistic uncanny valley,” said Dr. Ana Lamela Lengua, clutching her copy of the Chicago Manual of Style like a talisman. “They’re replacing Shakespeare with monster truck ads.”

The administration says the new language will promote clarity and “cultural hygiene.” Linguists, meanwhile, are still trying to figure out what “patriotized syntax” even means.

Dr. Norma Tiva declares:

“In this ‘Make American Language Official’ Era, it’s more important than ever to learn Spanish because if you don’t, you might find yourself lost in translation — and not just in politics. ¡Ay de ti! Dunno? Read this article from Kasa De Franko and you’ll find out before it’s too late, Why Spanish Matters More in a Multipolar World?“

Bilingualism? We Hardly Knew Ye.

The timing of this decree — on the same day the UN celebrates Spanish Language Day — was no coincidence, insiders suggest. “It’s a flex,” said one unnamed advisor. “We figured, what better day to remind people that this is ‘Merica — not America, nor América.“

But educators, especially those in bilingual programs, are sounding the alarm. School districts across the country have received mixed signals: some think they’re expected to ban both English and Spanish by fall, others have no idea whether the memo was real or just a meme.

Voices from the Borderlands

In places like El Paso, Miami, and Los Angeles — where Spanglish is practically its own dialect — reactions range from laughter to anger.

“I’ve been code-switching since kindergarten,” said Mariana Soto, a bilingual teacher. “Now they’re telling me I can’t say ‘cafecito’ because it’s not ‘American’ enough? Good luck policing grandmas.”

Meanwhile, a Texas rancher declared the move “long overdue” while eating tacos and watching telenovelas with the volume turned down.

Shaking Tongues, Not Just Heads

Cultural critics are calling this a “tongue-in-cheek but tongue-twisting” moment in U.S. history — a country built by immigrants now trying to rename the language they brought with them.

The executive order might be symbolic, but its symbolism speaks volumes: about identity, power, and who gets to decide what counts as “American.

Critics argue that this decision alienates millions of Americans who speak other languages, especially Spanish. As resistance builds, one must learn Spanish in the “Make American Language Official” Era, as it may soon become more of a necessity than a choice with the growing linguistic divide. ¡Pueblo resiste, pueblo!

The Reactions: Shock and Awe

While the idea of an “American” language might seem like a joke, the move has left tongues wagging across the country. Critics argue that this is yet another attempt to further isolate immigrant communities, especially Spanish speakers, who make up a significant portion of the population–not to mention all the English speakers nationwide. But hey, who needs bilingualism when you’ve got “American”, right? You’ve got to laugh, or else you might just start crying!

‘Finally, a Language for Real ‘Mericans’

The Supporters Speak Up: On the other side of the debate, supporters of the policy are cheering.

“Finally, we’ll have a language that truly represents our values,” said one enthusiastic Trump supporter. “This is a win for the real ‘Mericans who’ve had to sit through years of listening to people speak Spanish, French, and even — gasp — Mandarin!”

“And don’t even get me started on Klingon and Esperanto — is that a joke or what?” said another Trump supporter, wearing a hat emblazoned with the new Trump administration slogan: MALO. Because, of course, “Make American Language Official” is the real future of our great nation!

Coming Soon: Learn American, or Else!

In the wake of the executive order, tech companies are scrambling to catch up. Duolingo has announced a new course: American for Patriots.

“We’ve removed all foreign words, confusing grammar, and unnecessary vowels,” said a press release, written entirely in Comic Sans. “Our mascot Duo now wears a cowboy hat and only speaks in slogans approved by the Department of Cultural Hygiene.”

Early lessons include:

• “How to order Freedom Fries at the drive-thru”
• “Replacing foreign words like ‘quesadilla’ with ‘cheesyfolds’”
• “Making pledges in 5 words or less”

Meanwhile, Rosetta Stone is rumored to be releasing a competing program titled:
“Real Talk: Speak ‘Merican or Git. We’ll do our best to catch up with this new policy, even though we have no clue what MALO represents. Is it bad?”

🔴 The Birth of MALO

And now, the movement has a name — and a logo.

With the bold unveiling of the MALO campaign — Make American Language Official — the movement to rebrand English as the one true language of MERICA has finally found its mascot: a red, white, and aggressively beige logo that screams patriotic confidence and spelling indifference.

Designed with the energy of a political bumper sticker and the flair of a BBQ apron, the MALO logo doesn’t just represent a cause — it embodies a state of mind: loud, proud, and allergic to nuance.

🔵 Not English. American.

MALO isn’t just a slogan — it’s a full-blown linguistic revolution. No more British spellings. No more silent letters. No more grammar rules handed down by powdered-wig tyrants across the Atlantic. Under the MALO banner, we speak in monosyllables, uppercase declarations, and proudly uncorrected syntax. It’s not English anymore. It’s American — bold, unapologetic, and possibly misspelled, but always on brand.

¡MALO es bueno!

At campaign rallies, truck stops, and Fourth of July merch booths, MALO loyalists can be heard chanting:

¡MALO es bueno! MALO is good!

What started as a bureaucratic acronym has morphed into a patriotic mantra. Red caps. Bumper stickers. Even hot dog wrappers.

MALO: Ultimate Symbol of National Pride

In this brave new world of linguistic rebranding, MALO — Make American Language Official — is now the ultimate symbol of national pride. Never mind that “malo” means bad in Spanish.

The irony, like grammar, has been officially deregulated. Which is exactly why you should learn Spanish in the “Make American Language Official” Era—because understanding the joke might soon require a second language.

🧢 MALO Grammar Rules (Yes, There Are None)

As with any revolution, there are new rules to follow. But forget everything you thought you knew about grammar. In the world of American, it’s all about simplifying things so hard that even the concept of rules gets tossed out the window. Let’s see some examples:

1. Conjugation? We don’t do that.
   • English: He runs.
   • Spanish: Él corre.
   • American: HE RUN. YOU RUN. EVERYONE RUN.
2. Silent letters? Canceled.
   • English: Knight
   • Spanish: Caballero
   • American: NITE-SWORD DUDE
3. Spelling by feel.
   • English: Definitely
   • Spanish: Definitivamente
   • American: DEFNITLY
4. Punctuation is optional. Vibes are not.
   • American uses ALL CAPS, minimal commas, and the occasional 🔥 emoji for emphasis.
   • Example: WE AINT LEARNIN NO FRENCH 🔥
5. Loanwords? We repossess them.
   • English borrows from French, Latin, Greek…
   • American STEALS.
   • Croissant? → CRUNCHY FOLDY BREAD
   • Tortilla? → FLAT CHIKIN WRAPPER

🦅 The Pledge of Allegiance (to the American Tongue)

With a new language comes a new pledge. Here’s how the people of the United Slangs of America will stand united:

I pledge allegiance
to the tongue
of the United Slangs of America,
and to the repubrick for which it stands,
one nashun, under spellcheck,
occasionally indivisible,
with mispunctuation and liberty
for y’all.

📜 The 10 Commandments of MALO

With MALO, the linguistic revolution is official, and so are its rules. Forget the old grammar rules that have been shackling true ‘Merican expression. Now, there are only 10 commandments that every loyal speaker must follow. Break them, and you risk being excommunicated from the land of Freedom Fries and Victory Bread. Here they are:

1. Thou shalt not conjugate.
2. Thou shalt replace all ‘ph’ with ‘f’.
3. Thou shalt not spell ‘colonel’ unless thou art prepared to say ‘kernul’.
4. Thou shalt use emojis when words get hard.
5. Thou shalt never question why ‘queue’ has four silent letters.
6. Thou shalt speak louder if grammar fails.
7. Thou shalt not honor the Queen’s English.
8. Thou shalt add ‘-inator’ to verbs to make them cooler.
9. Thou shalt refer to every accent as ‘weird foreign English’.
10. Thou shalt always blame autocorrect.

📘 The Official MALO Language Proficiency Test

To be certified fluent in American, you must:

✅ Spell “receipt” as “reseet”
✅ Use “ain’t” unironically
✅ Refer to adjectives as “describey words”
✅ Say “I could care less” and mean it
✅ Write a paragraph with no punctuation and two emojis minimum
✅ Pronounce “genre” however you damn want

Passing score: 3/10 or louder.

📗 The MALO Micro-Dictionary: Vol. 1

“Why say it fancy when you can say it MALO?”

Bonus American translations of classics?

A sidebar of literary translations into “American” could be gold. Imagine:

📚 Great Works, Now in American

• Hamlet → “To Be or Nah”
• Don Quixote → “Dude Chasin’ Windmills”
• Les Misérables → “Sad French Jail Musical (No Thanks)”

🎤Official Model of American Standard: President Donald J. Trump

In the wake of the MALO movement, there’s only one guiding principle: “We don’t conjugate — we dominate.” This phrase, now the backbone of the MALO campaign, sets the tone for what it means to speak American — a language so bold, so unapologetic, it doesn’t need the crutches of conjugation, grammar, or logic. It just dominates.

MALO: Make American Language Official

As part of the grand rebranding effort, President Donald J. Trump’s speech patterns have been elevated to the gold standard for fluency in American. All citizens are encouraged to imitate his syntax, tone, and, perhaps most importantly, his total disregard for traditional grammar, logic, or restraint.

The American Way: Real Trump Phrases, Translated

Here are just a few prime examples of what it means to speak American, as demonstrated by President Trump himself. These Real American phrases — now translated for educational purposes — showcase how a true patriot should speak in the world of MALO.

📢 Trump to American Language Translation Guide

What Does MALO Actually Mean to Us?

Watcha talkin’ ‘bout Willis? The Policy? The new executive order demands that schools, businesses, and government institutions adopt “American” as the sole language for official communication. The timeline is tight: Spanish speakers have one year to “learn the new language of America.” It’s unclear how this will be enforced, but fluency tests seem to be in the works.

The big question is: What does it mean to be fluent in “American”? Will we soon be testing people on the use of phrases like “gimme a burger” and “y’all”?

Bilingualism in Peril

Will the U.S. Lose Its Diversity? While Trump’s latest executive order is touted as a unifying move, many are concerned that it will only widen the divide in the country. Spanish, already the second most spoken language in the U.S., is an essential part of daily life for millions. The “Make American Language Official Day” raises serious questions about the future of bilingualism in the U.S.

Some fear that this decree will push the country further into a cultural corner, ignoring the richness that comes from embracing multiple languages and histories. Others see this as just another example of America’s battle over identity and what it means to truly belong.

Looking Ahead: A Divided Nation?

As the clock ticks down to April 23, 2025, all eyes are on how this policy will reshape the cultural and linguistic landscape of the United States. Will the “Make American Language Official Day” truly unite the country, or will it deepen the divide between those who feel left out and those pushing for a proudly monolingual nation? Is the Trump administration really going to be like that?

If you’re curious about other unexpected moments involving Trump, check out Trump: The Man Who Got His Photo Kissed for another bizarre tale from the Trump era. You can also dive into these other intriguing reads:

• Trump: Get Your Tiny Hands Off My Poossie, Maria Said
• Trump’s Liberation Day to Honor ‘Merica’s Freedom
• Trump Moves to Mexico to Finally Build the Wall
• Happy New Year’s in March! Says President Trump
• The Strange Truth Behind February’s 28 Days

A Day Meant to Celebrate Language, Not Erase It

April 23rd wasn’t randomly chosen by the United Nations. It’s actually a double celebration: both Spanish Language Day (honoring the death of Miguel de Cervantes, the literary father of Don Quixote), and English Language Day, which commemorates none other than William Shakespeare.

That’s right — the Bard himself allegedly died on the same date.

Two literary giants: Two languages spoken by billions! And one day meant to honor the beauty, complexity, and power of human expression.

Let’s Celebrate Diversity of Human Language

It’s a day meant to celebrate not only the richness of Spanish and English, but also the diversity of human language and its power to carry history, culture, humor, and identity.

In communities across the U.S., Spanish is more than just a language — it’s how grandmothers tell stories, how kids learn cumbia, and how millions of people navigate the world.

Language: Resistance, Connection, & Joy.

Declaring “American” the only official language on this date? It’s not just tone-deaf — it’s a missed opportunity to actually talk about what language means in a country built on many tongues.

So today, while the headlines are shouting, let’s listen to the quieter truths: that language is resistance, language is connection, and language is joy. Whether you’re saying hola, what’s up, or qué lo qué, you’re speaking something far bigger than grammar — you’re speaking you.

Spanish & English Dancing Together

In communities across the U.S., Spanish and English dance together every single day — in classrooms, kitchens, corner stores, and cumbia clubs. Declaring “American” the only official language on this date? It’s not just culturally clueless — it’s practically a Shakespearean tragedy.

Let the Tongues Shake!

Because in the end, the beauty of language isn’t in how we police it — but in how we use it to understand each other. So go ahead.

Shake your tongue. Celebrate your voice. Speak your truth! — From the multilingual minds behind Kasa de Franko. Sí, hablamos todos los idiomas… even American.

What to Do?

In the face of this troubling situation, we’re reminded of how fragile linguistic diversity can be — even for globally spoken languages like English and Spanish. It’s both ironic and disheartening to see these tongues, often associated with power and reach, being marginalized in certain spaces where other ideologies dominate.

In light of this, one must learn Spanish in the “Make American Language Official” era as it becomes more necessary to bridge the growing linguistic divide — and to avoid falling into the stereotype that Americans only speak English.

This Is Not Just Vocabulary or Grammar

This is not just a matter of vocabulary or grammar—it’s a deeper issue of identity, access, and respect. When any language is silenced, so are the stories, cultures, and lives of its speakers.

This moment challenges us to reflect on what it truly means to be inclusive and multicultural. If we allow even the most widely spoken languages to be excluded, what message does that send about our commitment to equity and diversity?

Preserving language rights isn’t just about words—it’s about ensuring that every voice, regardless of its accent or origin, is heard and valued.

Join KDF: Where Diversity Meets Language

At Kasa de Franko, we believe that language is more than just words – it’s a gateway to understanding, connection, and culture. We are proud to offer Spanish and English lessons that go beyond grammar and vocabulary, promoting diversity, inclusion, and respect for all cultures.

Whether you’re looking to master Spanish or improve your English, our classes provide an immersive and supportive environment that values every student’s unique journey. We celebrate different backgrounds and perspectives, creating a space where everyone feels heard, valued, and empowered to learn.

🌍 Why Choose Us?

• Diverse and Inclusive Learning Environment – We understand that everyone has their own learning style and pace. Our classes are designed to be welcoming and adaptable, ensuring that you feel comfortable and motivated to succeed.
• Cultural Appreciation – Our lessons dive deep into the cultural contexts of the language, making learning more engaging and enriching. From history to music, traditions, and celebrations, we bring language to life!
• Expert Instructors – With our team of passionate and skilled instructors, we ensure you receive the highest-quality education, no matter your level or background.
• Flexible Learning Options – Whether you prefer group lessons or one-on-one sessions, online or in-person, we cater to your needs, helping you achieve your language goals with ease and confidence.

Fight For Diversity & Free Lessons!

At Kasa de Franko, we stand up for diversity and inclusion—because learning a language isn’t just about speaking; it’s about connecting with the world and celebrating what makes each of us unique.

Now that you know, learn Spanish in the “Make American Language Official” Era: stand for diversity, click the red button, and start resisting — by learning Spanish for free. And always remember…