I’m not the Chupacabras’
As you may remember from our previous episode (Parte I), el Sexy Moonlite Chupacabras wasn’t too thrilled with the name people bestowed upon him. “Don’t call me Chupacabras.”
Seriously, “goat sucker”? Yikes! Again! Who came up with that name, anyway? Your mom? She must not want you to get married, huh?
Yeah man! It’s not exactly the sexiest moniker out there. And let’s be real, our Chupacabras is all about the sensual vibes.
The name Chupacabras sends chills down people’s spines and messes with the poor Chupacabras’ head too. He knows it: It just doesn’t sit right with him. But you know what?
Chupacabras´ Got a Solution
He’s got a solution. He always does! He’s got this little game where he insists his victims call him Shoopy.
When they whisper that name in his ear, something magical happens—it makes the Chupacabras feel irresistible, like he’s oozing sex appeal.
So, pretty please, don’t call him Chupacabras! It’s all about Shoopy, okay? Say the magic word, and who knows, he might just spare—or disappear—your life.
Don´t call me Chupacabras, cutie! (¡No me llames Chupacabras, bombón!). That’s what the Chupacabras softly whispers in the ears of those unfortunate enough to encounter him: Call me Shoopy!
¡Sexy Shoopy, Bombón!
As Shoopy sucks on his victims’ necks, they feel compelled to whisper in his ear: “¡Sexy Shoopy! ¡Eres un bombón!” (Sexy Shoopy! You’re a cutie, chupacabras!)
The victims die with an otherworldly smile on their faces. As you observe their smiles, you can picture their lips softly whispering in your ear: “Eres sexy como un gatito, bombón” (You’r sexy as a pussy cat, cutie).
No one knew who the Chupacabras was, and it would have remained that way if not for the hero of our story: Jesús!
Oh Jesús!
Oh Jesus! At least six times a year, this moonlit creature will claim its victims. No one has ever seen it or even suspected its existence for decades.
This concubus being has the ability to blend in, which is the reason why no one has been able to solve the mysterious deaths occurring every year.
A concubus changes its appearance at will to seduce its victims. Shoopy easily changes its appearance and genitalia to appease its partners’ sexual preferences.
In our following articles of The Sexy Chupacabras, our readers will discover Jesus triumphed over death. Let’s first discuss the evil that Chupacabras forced upon its victims and how he did it.
The Haunting Nose Radar
This enigmatic moonlit predator possesses a remarkable adaptation—an exceptionally sensitive nasal radar that enables it to detect the heat emitted by its unsuspecting victims.
Just like vampires, right?
With this unique ability, the Chupacabras can locate the veins of their prey from a distance, even in complete darkness (la oscuridad).
After sucking their blood, the victims would bear a distinct mark, resembling a tattoo, on the left side of their necks—a chilling reminder that this creature strikes dangerously close to their hearts.
Yes! That explains “un corazón de tatuaje” (a tattooed heart).
No evidence of Chupacabras
Despite countless encounters, there are no existing videos or photographs capturing the elusive presence of this blood-sucking creature.
Its existence remains shrouded in darkness, surrounded by the eerie silence of its victims.
If you don´t pass the Spanish Test, he will juts kill you! You´ll have a very pleasurable death though. Learn Spanish or you´ll die! Unless, that´s what you want!
Learn Some Spanish!
Learn Some Spanish before the Chupacabras finds you. Here are some sensual phrases you can use when el Chupacabras tries to test your Spanish:
| Español | Inglés |
|---|---|
| Te deseo ahora mismo | I desire you right now |
| Hazme enloquecer | Drive me wild |
| Quiero sentirte dentro de mí | I want to feel you inside me |
| Tienes nalgas bonitas | You have a nice butt |
| Bésame despacio | Kiss me slowly |
| Quiero hacerte gemir | I want to make you moan |
| Eres mi fantasía prohibida | You’re my forbidden fantasy |
| Desnúdame con tus ojos | Undress me with your eyes |
| No puedo resistirte | I can’t resist you |
| Métemela toda | Stick it all the way in |
Spanish is sexy!
If you’re enthusiastic about becoming an expert of alluring Spanish phrases, make sure not to overlook our compilation known as “Things Spanish People Say in the Bedroom”:
These captivating pieces will enhance your grasp of sensual Spanish vocabulary. Just be cautious when using these words, as you could find yourself in awkward situations or, even worse, unintentionally offend someone.
Language is a potent tool, so it’s essential to be mindful of when, how, and with whom you choose to employ it.
Chupacabras Adventure
For an in-depth dive into the captivating tales of the alluring Chupacabras saga, make sure to pay a visit to our KDF Blog.
If you’re up for exploring some intriguing cultural myths and stories in Spanish, hey there! You definitely don’t want to miss out on the third episode of this saga: The Angels of Vladymoon.
Free Spanish Lessons
Get ready to spice up your Spanish culture game! Learn Spanish and run for your life! Join us for a free lesson at Kasa De Franko and explore everything from cultural myths to legendary tales.
Don’t worry, we’ll make sure “El Chupacabras” doesn’t come after you to suck your blood—unless, of course, that’s your thing!
Ready to dive in? Click the red button below and let’s kickstart this thrilling language adventure!
Remember, Spanish is not just about encountering sexy creatures like el Chupacabras. Embrace the richness of the culture, and you’ll have a blast!
So, what are you waiting for? Get that Spanish goodie and always remember:
