Don’t Learn Spanish!
Communication in one language is difficult enough. Why would you want to add another one to the mix?
If you are already using English and Text Message languages in your day-to-day activities, the last thing you need to do is fill your mind with a whole lot of new words, phrases and nonsense that you probably won’t need to use very often anyway.
That’s why we made this list of the Top Ten Reasons Not To Learn Spanish…
1. It’s Actually Mexican
How often do you think you’ll be venturing into Mexico over the next month, year or decade? If you intend to be a relative frequent traveler then you won’t need Spanish. You will need to learn Mexican. Essentially you can fake it by adding the word ‘oh’ at the end of each word. For example, “Where can I find a bathroom?” becomes “Where-o can I-o find-o a bathroom-o?” Master that and you’re golden.
2. You Don’t Have the Time
Seriously, think about it. Between all the other left-brain, right-brain activities you are involved in, the last thing you need is to budget time to learn something new that won’t get you a better job or raise. In fact, if you spent the time you would otherwise be wasting on Spanish lessons on actually working you could end up with a better job after all.
3. Getting a Better Job?
I wish! But not that kind of job! One that blows me away maybe. Yeah! I know, I know I can get a better job and an even much better wage. But who cares if I won’t have time to enjoy it anyways. With the overwhelming presence of ChatGPT, companies don´t need more multilingual workers.
Check out our article: The Post-Pandemic Skill You Must Have: “Espanich”. After reading it, you’ll see why you don’t need to learn Spanish anymore. You better learn Na’vi and move to Pandora instead so you can speak it with Eywa.
4. Language Is Not Your Best Asset
Okay, we said it nicely but if your problem comes from a learning disability of the “I don’t want to learn” variety, we get it. Not everyone can pick up a new skill like language. Maybe you can learn a new video game sequence faster. It makes sense because some people are just like that.
5. You Can’t Teach Old Dogs New Tricks
The dog trainer down the street will have a different attitude about this than you, but in a way you are right. Sometimes we just get too old to try anything new like bungee jumping, scuba diving, riding in an airplane or learning Spanish.
6. Everyone Should Be Speaking English Anyway
You get no argument from us here. With the majority of the world’s population speaking English what’s the point in learning Spanish? There are a lot of English words Spanish people understand already like lasagna, taco, siesta, margarita and so on.
7. I’ll Be Talking to Myself around Here
Yup. That’s a huge risk. You wouldn’t want to learn a new language if there’s no one else around to impress when you spew a few phrases in Spanish. It most certainly won’t score you any points at the Italian restaurant downtown, that’s for sure.
8. Tequila Shots Are the Same In Any Language
Let’s face it, if it weren’t for sub-titles in movies, there would be no need to learn anything other than English. So, relax. With your handheld device nearby you can translate whatever you need to translate if necessary. But if you do consider learning a second language, the smart money is on Klingon.
If interested in the effects of alcohol during the process of learning a language, check out our saga Alcohol Rhymes with Spanyol. After reading so, you’ll find out that you just need more cerveza para hablar mejor español. (hic, hic..)
9. Spanish is a Very Sexy Language!
Yeah, who cares! Sex is boring after all! Right? Anyways, sex’s only purpose is reproduction. Do you think the world needs more people like me? No, right? You see my point now.
But hey, if you still think that learning dirty phrases in Spanish is a waste of time, don´t even check our sexy saga: Things Spanish People Say in the Bedroom. After all, Spanish is not a very sexy language, huh.
10. Free Lessons aren’t Really Free
Yes, Kasa de Franko offers Free Spanish Lessons to those who are not interested in learning the language. That’s good so we don’t have to deliver any lesson anyways. But! Yeah, if you are really, really interested, book a free trial lesson with us for you or your kiddo.
I know, we still know there isn’t always such a thing as free lunch. But we can definitely reassure we’ll do our best for you or your children to like our classes and enjoy learning Spanish: tons of laughter and fun, for sure!
Expanding your Horizons
But hey, whether you’re sipping tequila shots, mastering the art of ‘Mexican,’ or enrolling at Kasa de Franko (or wherever your language-learning journey takes you), one thing’s for sure: learning a second language may not be everyone’s cup of tea, or should I say, taza de té?
Either way, embrace the adventure of expanding your linguistic horizons. Who knows, Kasa de Franko might just be the doorway to Spanish fluency you haven’t been seeking for. After all, life’s too short not to enjoy the ‘o’ in your own unique way.
Don’t Learn Spanish: Speak Spanish!
That’s correct! Don’t learn Spanish if you don’t want to. Never feel forced to do it. Instead of just learning it, you better acquire it and internalize it. Speak the language instead: Spanish! Live it!
Before you can learn any language, you don’t only need to have the need for it. You also have to like it somehow. That’s why you should try to find things about the culture you may get interested in.
If you still think that you must learn Spanish even though you don’t want to, try to discover what you may enjoy while learning the language, e.g. music, food, people, books, traveling, love, folktales, legends, stories, and the list can go on.
El Chupacabras’ Lessons
If folktales and creepy legends are your thing, don’t miss out our saga: El Sexy Chupacabras. He will force you to speak Spanish even if you don’t want it. If you don’t learn Spanish la Llorona would come to drag you from your feet to the river of death. This, of course, if la Ciguapa doesn´t find you before la Santa Muerte.
Laugh at yourself!
When learning a new language, you learn to laugh at others’ mistakes—but especially at yours! Don’t take yourself too seriously. Life is not that boring. Laughing is not only healthy but it’s also a social glue.
If you wanna learn from others’ mistakes, check out our saga: Language Bloopers—you will learn why you don’t wanna tell your friend “me gusta la chucha de tu madre”.
Don´t Book a Lesson!
Don’t book a lesson if you don’t want to learn Spanish. But if you do, and you truly wanna immerse yourself in the realm of the Spanish language, we will help you all the way through. And always remember:
“majority of the world speak english” last i checked 17% is not the majority, very far from that. also point 1 is kinda racist
Most spoken language is English
You do realise this is supposed to be a comedy page, yes?
finally, some decent reasons to ditch spanish!
I don’t like Spanish I would rather k*ll myself